short: the talk

Disclaimer: This update contains talk that some may not be comfortable with. Please keep in mind that this is going to be around Family Guy level of crude humor if I do it right. You have been warned ♥


"Son, can you come in here?" Merlot called to his boy from the comfort of the sofa.
Drover came into the living room noticing only he and his father on that floor of the house. "Yeah.. this doesn't make me nervous at all.." He trailed off as he took a seat beside his dad.
Merlot cut right to the chase. "Now I know you and Violet have become rather romantic lately-"
"Oh dingle berry! Please tell me this isn't what I think it is!"

Merlot nodded slowly, fighting off a smile at the look on his son's face.
"Now, Drover. I know at your age there's a lot of things you want to try with girls, maybe even other boys-"
"DAD!"
Lo ignored his outburst and continued on. "You just need to be careful with what you do, son. I already have fifteen grand kids and I don't need any from you yet."
Drover rolled his eyes at his dad.
"But, there is another matter. I know you must have had feelings for the darlin' when she was still imaginary, and you probably had to take them into your own hands, if you know what I'm saying. Now that she's real I don't want to hear you two going at it all hours of the day."
"Oh my Berry Dad stop already."

Undeterred, Merlot marched on. "Have ya done anything yet, boy?" All serious now.

*smack smack*
*giggle*
*smack*



"Uh... no."
Merlot knew when his kids were honest and when they were hiding something but he chose to move on. "Now, I've been through the same thing you are going through, with the exception of the girlfriend out of thin air. In fact there was this one time, before I met your mother mind you, ...."


~15 excruciatingly graphic minutes later~

".... and it went EVERYWHERE!"
"...."
"Son..?"
"I think my ears are bleeding."
"Oh it wasn't that bad of a story!"

"Really, Dad? This is where the line is and this is where you are allllllll the way over here."
Lo laughed at his son's embarrassment.
"Y'know son, if ya need some I may have an extra box I can spare, your Mama hasn't really been in the mood since she's started going through the change of life." Lo's generous offer was lost on his son, who just gave him a look for a moment.
"I think I'm gonna go in that corner over there and die now." Drover got up and started walking out of the room.

"Remember to practice safe sex!" Lo called, a cocky smile on his face.


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Hope you all enjoyed this little short!
I'm experimenting with picture sizes so feel free to let me know what size ya like ♥♥♥