Now some 15 or so years later things between us had changed quite a bit.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
When we were 14 we made a sort of pact. We would practice kissing and other romantic stuff but only as practice, nothing more. We agreed not to take things any further than practice, no actual 'like-like' involved.
For awhile it worked. And as we got older we began practicing other things. Just so we would know what to do! You're probably giving me a look right now aren't you? Well stop.
However at that age we weren't really aware that we had no control over our feelings. Recently I became aware that London's feelings had changed and not long after he himself made it quite clear.A small, annoying voice in the back of my head cheered, WHOOO! he feels that way too!
Wait wait wait! Too? No way, there's no too here. No too what so ever.
At least that's what I kept saying.
One morning, after some 'practice' (Shut up people have needs!) London and I awoke in the bed we occasionally share.
Letting out a heavy sigh London sat in a slump at the edge of the bed. "Wisteria," Here it comes. "You know I love you Wis." He waited, anticipating a response that I couldn't give.
Another sigh. "I know you love me too... well, I'm pretty sure you do." He ran his hand down his face. "You can't stop things from changing Wis. Change happens because time passes and there's no stopping the passage of time."
I stood there, trying my best not to hear him, but I did.
Finally he stood and began walking out of the room. "At some point, Wisteria, too much time will pass."
___________________
The next day, after London had gone to work, I called up my dear little sis hoping she could help me out with some sisterly advice.
We decided to go for a walk. Both of us remained silent for a while, listening to the rhythmic tapping of our feet for a few minutes.
Downy was the one to break the somewhat awkward silence. "So... you wanted to talk about something?"
I sighed heavily, not wanting to talk about it but knowing I needed to.
"London's in love with me."
"Yeah, I know."
"You know?" I thought I was the only one to know.
"It's painfully obvious, Wissers."
"Well, I don't know how I feel about it. You know that we agreed on a practice, sorta friends with benefits thing, not..." I couldn't even get it out.
"How do you feel about him?"
"What's the difference?"
"How do you feel about London, who he is, what he means to you, not how you feel about the situation." She clarified.
We looked at each other then and she knew what I wasn't willing to say.
"When it comes down to it,sis, it doesn't matter what the situation is or how it was supposed to be, all that matters is what you feel. If he makes you happy and you love him then go for it. You only have one life to live."
"You're right. I can do this!" I said with new found confidence.
I pulled her in for a hug before we parted.
_____________
London got home from work long after I had gone to bed, which isn't unusual since the team has the players stay late practicing, so I had to wait to talk to him.
The next morning the confidence had worn off and I found myself piddling around the house, putting off talking to him as long as possible. Then I became fed up with dancing around each other and decided, now or never.
I found him making the bed and silently waited for him to finish.
"London..." He didn't look at me, only silently waited for me to continue. He came over to me and let me grab hold of his hands.
I charged forward in my speech. "I realized something. Two somethings, actually. I love you and all that I do is run. But my heart hurts and I don't want to run anymore."
__________
Sorry this took forever, I had to fight the demons of writer's block through out this chapter -_-
Next I'll be starting up my new DITFT rainbowacy, Let Your Colors Burst!
And now for our first..
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